I started watching this preacher on television last weekend and I just had a minute so I only heard about the first sentence of what he said. I found it to be so profound, I quickly grabbed a notepad, scribbled it down, pushed record and then went on to my own church. I have no idea what his name is and haven't had time to watch the whole thing yet but I've thought a lot about his first sentence. He said this. "Gratitude and ingratitude are relationally determinative." Think about that sentence for a minute. It's a deep one. I think it's especially important at this wonderful giving "and receiving" time of the year.
I believe he was basically saying this. How you react to a gift, can make or break a mood or even an entire relationship. I get in trouble a lot from the Cowboy because he says I have to be thanked for a gift. If I'm not around and he delivers something for me, I'm always inquiring to someone's reaction or whether or not they even received it at all. It's not that I have to be thanked but if they don't, I don't even know they got it! Saying "thank you" should be a given, whether you like something or not. Plus, giving is my love language and I want to know that I've made somebody happy.
When you've taken the time to purchase something or make something for someone and they open it and say nothing, well that immediately causes tension doesn't it? I'm immediately irritated and so our "relationship" is going to be tense for a bit. I'm not saying I won't get over it. We are Christians and "getting over it" is just what we have to do. Forgiving one another is God's Word, not mine. But when you give somebody a gift and they receive it with joy, isn't that the best feeling ever??? Nothing makes me happier than to give somebody something that they really love. When they open it up and then say nothing or just sit it to the side, my feelings get hurt. I want to do "nothing" for them next Christmas. I don't want a gift in exchange. It has nothing to do with that. In fact, I prefer NOT to get anything, especially food. My family would shoot me dead for that sentence. My sweet neighbors always reciprocate with delicious Christmas cookies, pies and cinnamon rolls. I want to stab them all with a fork because I've already gotten fat for Christmas. That's my favorite meme. "What'd you get for Christmas?" "Fat! I got fat for Christmas!" That's me!
Last year I had a little run in with the United States Postal Service at Christmas time. I always make cookies for my neighbors. Not all of them but the ones I know, sometimes some I don't know and I also pass out little gifts to some of the children I love. I can't get everybody but I try my best and usually get a bit stressed out over the whole process. Well, when I drive around each year and people aren't at home, I would just put their gift in their mailbox. What's the big deal? I'd done it FOR YEARS. Apparently, one day last year, I had a mail carrier that didn't know me and thought all of the gifts, mysteriously wrapped exactly the same, were all placed in mailboxes around the same neighborhood, just for her. COME ON LADY. SERIOUSLY? And...she took them to the post office. Upon unwrapping each one, she noticed all the cards were from "The Charleston's." Imagine that. So instead of just calling me and saying, "Gosh Trish, I'm so sorry but you can't do that"...I got a federal notice that I would be fined or arrested if I did it again. I was SO FRIGGIN MAD. I spent HOURS making cookies and things and my neighbors got squat. I think she actually tried to put them back but who knows what happened. My regular mailman was mortified and apologized repeatedly. It wasn't his fault. They said I was defrauding them of postage. Are you kidding me right now? Let's just say that that sentence was "relationally determinative" to say the least. It was so "relationally determinative" in fact that this year I said "I'm not delivering anything to anybody. I'm done." Emma was like "Oh Mom, we have to! It's our thing!" I am seriously getting mad all over again just thinking about it. (This same woman also wrote on my copper mailbox with a sharpie this summer. A SHARPIE. I drove to the post office that day.)
The night before Christmas Eve, I started cooking. About 8:00 p.m. Emma came in the kitchen and just cracked up laughing. "Oh I'm not making the neighbors ANYTHING this year. Not only are you making the neighbors something, you're making the MOST DIFFICULT AND MOST DELICIOUS cookies that you know how to make!" Hahahahaha! She even put me on her snapchat story the little shit. I had more cookie orders rolling in after that! Geesh. My poor neighbors didn't do anything wrong. But, the neighbors I NEVER hear anything from, never a thank you, kiss my rear, nothing, got zero this year. My sweet mailman got his hanging ON the mailbox with his NAME written on it. No mistakes there. And he left me a sweet thank you note which made my heart so happy. I love him. I don't want anything in return. I just want to know you got yours and a simple thank you. With that....you'll get more next year. Unless I'm dead or finally as broke as I deserve to be. According to my bank statements, that's now.
We opened gifts early this year because Quincy and Colt were spending Christmas in Texas. The Cowboy hadn't gotten me anything. He claimed he didn't know we were doing it so early and then stated "I thought we weren't exchanging gifts this year." For the record, I never said that, ever. I'd had his for three months. He also slept through most of the unwrapping. It was a work night and we were all pretty tired so I can't fault him there. I can, but I won't. The man cannot sit down without falling asleep. If I'm in the room, he's all comfy and cozy and out in three seconds. It's a great effect I have on him. I'm his happy place and that's pretty sweet when you think about it.
He kept feeling all bad and finally said "I haven't gotten you anything for Christmas yet, what do you want?" I have everything. If I want something, I usually buy it. Things I "want" are like, an addition to the house, a bookstore, a pool, things like that. I felt that was a bit much to ask for. LOL! I said "Honey, I really don't need anything. I'm fine. I get what I want when I want it. Let's just keep doing that!" LOL! Finally he said "How about a water softener? We need one!" That was perfect! I loved the idea. We do need one and so that's what we decided to get.
Christmas morning came and he came in all giggles and handed me this gigantic sack packed full of stuff and said "I never fill your stocking so this is to make up for it for the past 26 years." Whoa. It was huge. It had a sweet card thanking me for all I do each day and for taking care of our family all these years. Folks, that card was all I needed. If it was all that was in the sack, it would have been a wonderful Christmas and I was thrilled.
The sack however, was full of crap. CRAPOLA but really funny crap. What a complete waste of money but we laughed and laughed. Apparently he and his buddy drank a little yule tide cheer and went shopping at Walmart for their wives. I wouldn't recommend doing this. My friend and I got matching 10 ft Santas, red bras ( mine two sizes too small), Santa hats and a plethora of candy, socks, and stuffed bears and Santas. The Grandma Berta in me was in heaven. I laughed and laughed. He also got me a really nice coat, also too small so Emma will be enjoying that. I did get to order a new one so I have that coming. Apparently, that coat was for the same chick that fits in that red bra. My girls are Double D's and do not fit in a size medium jacket. Not dressed anyway. And undressed, well they might hang out the bottom. Getting caught in the zipper would be very unpleasant indeed.
It was all crap but still so much fun! He said "You love that blow up Santa more than any of it!" I seriously might have. Just because he got it for me. He took the time to go shopping just for me. Albeit he was intoxicated but at least in his inebriation, he first thought of me. I felt blessed.
It's not what is in the box that matters, it's how you receive it. It's the love that comes with giving it to you in the first place. How you receive the love, can make or break a relationship. And folks, how you give or receive the love, can also determine your final destination. The last stop. The end of the line. The train station if you watch Yellowstone. LOL!
God gave us the best gift of all. A gift of love, wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger. Jesus gave us His life so that we can have eternal life to spend with our Heavenly Father! All you have to do is ACCEPT IT and do it with GRATITUDE by showing others the same love each and every day. It's not always easy. It's not. I have to remember to breathe. I have to remember that everyone is going through something too and that my problems are actually pretty small in the scheme of things. Life can be hard but it's so very temporary. That's the most important thing that we need to understand.
God is love and God is THE ONLY forever. Nothing lasts forever, except for God. NOTHING.
That Santa I was so happy about? Well he lasted about 2 hours. A big gust of wind came up and for some reason, the motor just quit. The things of this world are simply temporary. They really have no lasting value but that doesn't mean they can't spread a little happiness. Spread the love.
Let's give and receive with joy and remember the true reason we are on this earth to begin with. We are simply here because God has allowed us to be. Give Him the glory and thank Him often. What we do here on this earth matters. I believe it determines your very place and maybe even your job in eternity. God loves you so much that He gave His one and only Son just to get to spend forever with you. With YOU! What a gift!!! Thank Him for it and love Him back. That's all He wants.
Merry Christmas!
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