It's always completely amazing and really humbling how that God speaks to me. It doesn't matter what is going on in my life, He manages to pull it all together and put it everywhere, right in front of my face. And if He's not doing it, well then that's just creepy. LOL. Everyone knows we are planning a wedding. It's literally less than 30 days away now and I've been running full blast for months. With the book, the wedding, the rentals house, the farm, teaching, writing, not writing, gardening, flooding, no driveway, rodeos, I'm just slammed and a bit stressed out. I still try and do my small Bible study every single morning because it's just part of me and if I don't, I just don't have a good day. It's the only real medicine I take. It takes about 30 minutes but I need it. Plus it helps me not to kill people. :)
Well lately, every thing I read is about a bride and bridegroom. It just takes my breath away that God cares enough about me to show me that my daughter's wedding matters to Him and that it is SO MUCH MORE. He knows I need him.
Emma found my old wedding dress and has been prancing around in it. When I sent the Cowboy her picture he said "I thought it was you!" Be still my heart. I laughed and said "I was never that small." He said "You are that same size now!" I laughed and said "certainly not." He said "What? 30 pounds heavier?" Indeed. LOL. I'll be working on that. Hahahahahaha! That dress and all of this Bible study really got me thinking.
People take marriage for granted. I did. I'm guilty too. When I got married the first time, I didn't want to, I knew I wasn't ready and yet, I did it anyway. In a year and a half I was divorced. He was a wonderful person but he wasn't my person. And people do that all the time. We just jump into things thinking, oh heck if it doesn't work it, well I'll just get a divorce. Well that's not okay. And it's not God's plan or design. MARRIAGES ARE A BIG DEAL! WEDDINGS ARE A BIG DEAL!
I've been studying my Bible a lot and lately God is talking to me just about the bride and the bridegroom. I've never really understood these references before because like a lot of people, I took marriage so lightly. I came from divorced parents, I was divorced. I didn't grow up in a dad and mom home and I'm not blaming them but it just wasn't a big deal to me.
Did you know marriage is one of the most sacred covenants you can make? Did you know in the Episcopal church it's one of the sacraments? Well it is.
This morning in my Bible Study, Beth Moore had me in tears. Not teared up, but actually big old tears pouring down my face. She was talking about her wedding day. She was wearing a white dress and didn't feel worthy. She knew she wasn't pure and should be wearing in the very least, off white. And then she learned Revelations 19:7-8 says "The marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has prepared herself. She was permitted to wear fine linen, bright and pure." Ladies and gentlemen, Jesus has washed you white as snow. I've been exactly where she was. I wouldn't allow myself to wear white when I married the love of my life because I felt exactly the way she did. I wouldn't do it. But you know what? I cheated my husband. I cheated him seeing me like that because I was HIS one and only and forever and because of my guilt, and my shame, I cheated him. He's never once complained. He never does. But now I feel overrun with guilt.
Well so did Beth. She wore white but never hung a picture or anything of her wedding because of her shame. She dreamed her whole life of her wedding picture hanging over the fireplace one day but was so overcome with shame, she hid. She showed nobody. She didn't even have a picture taken. After her long journey with Jesus, she learned that she is worthy. She IS FORGIVEN and she deserved to wear white. On her 20th wedding anniversary, she contacted a friend who owned a bridal shop. She hired a photographer and dressed as the bride that she was, the bride that she is, in pure white and had a gorgeous picture made for her husband. When he opened his gift, he wept. He got up, took down his prize deer trophy, and replaced it with a picture of his gorgeous bride, beaming in all white.
Beloved, you are the bride and God is the bridegroom. He chose you. He handpicked you and put every hair on your head. He is so proud of you and wants you to be yourself. HE CREATED YOU! HE KNOWS YOU! HE ADORES YOU! Ask for forgiveness right now and ask Jesus to come into your heart and wear that white proudly.
A couple of months ago we were in Arizona. This gorgeous woman kept prancing around in an all white jumpsuit. Everyone looked at her wherever she went. When we got back to the hotel room, I was getting ready and frustrated with what I saw in the mirror. The Cowboy asked me what was wrong. I said I want you to look at me the way everyone was looking at the lady in the white jumpsuit. Without missing a beat he said, "I look at you like that every day." And he does. And Jesus does. So people, don't disappoint our loves. They love us just the way we are and we have been washed whiter than snow. Go and shine. Shine that beautiful light and hold your head high! You are a bride and Jesus is so proud of you.
P.S. I might have to borrow Quincy's dress for a photo session. ;)
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