My Christmas Miracles.

"God can bless you with everything you need, and you will always have more than enough to do all kinds of good things for others." II Corinthians 9:8

That is a very basic and reworded version of this scripture, which I copied from my desk calendar and have no idea what Bible translation it came from, but it gives you the gist of it. And, I'm sharing it with you because it went so perfectly with my week leading up to Christmas.

I've had a ton of stuff on my mind and on my plate this year. 2020 has been a train wreck for most everyone and I was no exception. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. A pandemic, golfball and baseball sized hail, sickness, death, etc. 2020 is not a year any of us are going to forget anytime soon.

As you know, I wasn't sure I'd even decorate or put up a tree this year. I had to cram all of my belongings into every possible storage place I had and my decorations were buried behind them. Getting them out was going to be a lot of work. I held strong for a while but eventually, tradition got the better of me there and I caved. I dug some out. Not all but some. Plus I thought my grand baby might show up early and I didn't want him to think his grandma was a slacker. I always shop early but that turns into a mistake of epic financial proportion because I forget where I put my list or that I have already bought certain gifts for people and buy more. This is a ritual that needs to come to an end and quickly. Yikes. My Christmas cards were a nightmare this year. I keep a list but in no real order and I'm sure some people got two and some got none. I am telling you, it has been a year.

After I got everything done, and we had a handle on bull season, I began to try to connect more with God and less with all the stuff. I started to ask His opinion on everything. For one, I decided to stop worrying about getting these books published. I decided that if somebody picks them up, they pick them up and if they don't, well I'm writing for God anyway and isn't He the best publisher of all? No offense Jennifer. LOL! I'm just not going to worry about it anymore. I mean, I'm not really doing it for the money anyway although a paycheck would be lovely to pay for all of those gifts I bought twice.

I write because of the ideas that pop into my head and won't leave. Or worse, if I don't write them down quickly, they vanish forever and then I feel like I've let God down in some way because I know He gave me the idea in the first place. He planted the seed so I am in charge of watering it and making it grow. WE ALL HAVE A GIFT! Here's the cool part. When we use it for His glory, man He runs away with it. And that's what brought me to the scripture above.

I also decided that I no longer cared about rebuilding our house. The back and one side was completely destroyed in the hail storm. We've done nothing to repair it except I did finally get some windows, thank you Lord. The Cowboy decided that instead of fixing it, we'd add on a big gathering room and maybe another bedroom, garage, etc. When we have company over, we have very limited space. If I needed to eventually house an elderly parent, I don't really have the capability in this house because the extra bedrooms are upstairs. I mean, we could give them ours but it doesn't have a walk in shower. We could manage but would need to adjust some things. Here's the thing though. We've managed to raise two wonderful daughters in this small house and lived here quite happily for 20 years. Do I need it? My C.S. Lewis Screwtape Letters study guide just pounded in my head. He said you should always ask yourself these three questions "Is it righteous? Is it prudent? Is it possible?" Righteous means free from guilty or sin. For some reason, adding on to our home had me riddled with guilt. And whether or not we could afford it was irrelevant to me. We simply didn't need it. Did we?

Then I got sucked in and excited. I wanted it. The Cowboy showed me what he wanted to do and I got exited. The builder came out, the architect came out and I was officially on board. This was in maybe August? We started the discussion in May, people came out in August and by December I'd never received another phone call, ever. In fact, the builder would no longer even answer my texts. Instead of hiring somebody else, I just gave up. Plus, have you tried to hire anyone to fix anything lately? Impossible! Nobody is working and supplies are gone. Because of supply and demand, lumber has skyrocketed. It was ridiculous what it would now cost. In just a matter of months. I didn't feel comfortable about it anyway and maybe this was why. It simply wasn't meant to be. I finally quit worrying about it and just talked it over with God that if He wanted us to add on to this house, He would make it happen and if He didn't we wouldn't and I wasn't going to worry about it either way. I have plenty to do and I'm not living in a box under the freeway. We are blessed. I was completely at peace over the whole thing. I didn't even seem to mind the duct tape blowing in the wind on the back of the house anymore. I was over it.

I've been slowly doing a "Read the whole Bible in 52 weeks" study and just finished Exodus. Guess what chapter they sent me to next? Leviticus right. Wrong O. Matthew. What? And right there in chapter 2 starts with the Christmas star. The Christmas star was to be out on the 21st, only visible for a couple of hours (which I didn't realize) and then gone for 800 years (or so I thought). I really need to pay closer attention to the news or research things I'm interested in. I had dinner plans with one of my dearest friends, who I hadn't seen in forever, and we planned to eat and then view the star. Well, of course we got to visiting and catching up and lost track of time and missed the star. People, I was devastated about this. I really thought it was such a gift from God in this strange and horrible time and I was just yapping away and missed it. Well, my visiting was badly needed and we were talking about some hard stuff not just about nothing. The star never crossed our minds. I was focused on her and at that moment, it needed to be that way. When we came out, we were immediately searching and bummed we'd forgotten. Instead of the star, we found connection in each other that we hadn't had for a very long time and that we badly needed. It was wonderful. But we missed the star. I drove home frantically searching the sky. Nothing. This was on a Monday. We both thought we saw it from our own homes later. It was a different star that wasn't normally in the sky and looked gold in color but that turned out to be Mars, which is also pretty cool by the way but not what we were looking for.

The day before, Emma and I attended a different church. Quincy is in quarantine because she's about to have a baby any day and they make them quarantine for a couple of weeks before and after because of Covid. I know people just don't know what all the virus will do but I know my God is stronger and so I'm really over it all. I will wear a mask if asked and if I'm sick I won't leave my house but I just don't feel like a mask is going to save anybody. Besides, I feel like it's against my religion. I really feel like that if I'm trusting God in all things, well then why on earth would I wear a mask? I'm not trying to be a trouble maker. I just don't want to wear one. And I'm not really a rebel but I feel strongly about this one. Our church issued a "mandatory mask at all times" rule and so, I hadn't been back and I was missing it so much. The masks though, they just against the very principle of believing in God to me. You're entitled to your opinion. It's between you and God. That is my opinion. Do I want a surgeon wearing a mask when my daughter is turned inside out on the operating table? Yes I do! Do I want their hands clean? Of course. But I'm not a surgeon. I'm usually alone on 100 acres. If I lived in New York City I might feel differently but I doubt it. In fact, I feel very strongly about it. I also know that God gave us all a brain. If you feel convicted to wear a mask, it's probably for good reason, so you wear one. I feel very convicted NOT to and I'm not. If God wants me to die of Covid 19, I'm going to and no mask will save me. When it's your time, it's your time. Do I want to spread the virus? No! So I stayed home when I had it. And yes, I had it. I never left this farm and my darling husband brought it home to me. It was horrible and I was very sick but I lived. Not everyone has. We lost a dear friend and neighbor and our lives will never be the same without him but he died of a heart attack. I believe it was because he was stuck in the hospital alone. It was awful and heart wrenching but it must have been his time. Right? Was it? Can we prevent our deaths? I mean, people kill themselves all the time. Is that God's plan? He gives us free will and I know He knows everything. But the not being able to be together was NEVER God's plan. This social distancing nonsense is NOT God's plan. God is all about being in communion and relationship with one another. People dying alone and broken hearted is man's creation. I'm sorry, God is not in that or this. This is man's doing. "Love one another" is not through a glass in a nursing home or six feet away. You will never ever convince me of that one.

Galatians 3:23-25 "Now before faith came, we were imprisoned and guarded under the law until faith would be revealed. Therefore the law was our disciplinarian until Christ came, so that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer subject to a disciplinarian." This just screams freedom in Christ to me and that includes the masks. It's just how I feel.

I chased a masked rabbit there. I'm sorry. This is supposed to be about my miracles and I'm getting to it. So, because of the mask mandate, Emma and I decided to go to another church. I texted the preacher and asked "Do you have to wear a mask in your church? He said "No Ma'am." I said "I'll see you tomorrow." It's right up the road and I've always wanted to go. It's supposed to be non denominational I think but I'm pretty sure it's border line pentecostal. I grew up in a church just like it and Emma and I both loved it. I got teared up because it reminded me so much of my childhood. I told Emma I could almost feel my grandmother in the room and then quickly realized it wasn't grandma at all. It was Jesus. She was so full of Jesus that He oozed out of her, everywhere she went. It was longer than we are used to and very different but we loved it. When we walking out, they handed out some information and a calendar. Emma got ours, handed them to me and we left feeling pretty wonderful.

Tuesday night, the Cowboy calls as I just pulled in the driveway and said that our friend Doug was dressing up like Santa Claus for the kids in the office and he thought I'd like to see that. I've learned over the years that when my husband invites me to such things, I need to go immediately. Drop all that I am doing, groceries, cooking, whatever, and go. My life is much simpler when I go. And I was correct in doing so. The kids were precious and loved Santa. Two of our closest friend's children were baptized that night and I got to hug them and welcome them into the family! Then we had dinner with Santa and Mrs. Claus and had a wonderful time. Well guess what I saw as I started out of the driveway. THE CHRISTMAS STAR! It was out for more than one day. It would only be seen for about two hours each night but there it was in all of it's glory. I felt like it was literally there just for me. I was so excited! I got a beautiful picture and gosh I couldn't have been happier. I thanked God over and over for allowing me to get the chance to see it. It seems silly but it really filled me with hope.

The next day, I just happened to read one of the pamphlets we were giving from our church visit. It was from the local Crisis Center and said to call a number if you wanted to adopt a resident for Christmas. Well Christmas was two days away and I was sure they'd all been adopted but I had a nagging feeling to call and so I did. Sure enough they were all taken care of but the lady asked if I would mind if she took down my name and number in case they had someone come in last minute. Of course I agreed.

The very next day my phone rang. They had a last minute resident and wondered if I'd be interested. "Shopping! Of course I'm interested!" LOL! They said they would send me her profile and that they liked the residents to have three gifts to open. Something fun, something useful and something inspirational. "Okay! I can do that!" I quickly got her profile and folks, she was 19 years old, loved horses and wanted art supplies for Christmas. I write books about Jesus, live on a horse ranch and was an art major in college. I just stood in my kitchen and cried. She was my gift, my blessing, hand picked just for me from God. I have never had so much fun shopping for anyone in my life. Okay, that's a lie. LOL. But it was wonderful. I wish I could know if she loved her gifts as much as I loved giving them.

That same day, the architect called. I said "I thought your were dead." He laughed and said "What?" Well, turns out there had been some miscommunications about things we wanted and things we didn't and he was nervous to show me. Am I that scary? He was very much alive and working on my house. When I met with him we had a wonderful visit and I shared my concerns about whether we really needed it, etc. When I quit being irritated at this guy, I found a new friend in Christ and he absolutely soothed my troubled soul.

The long point I'm trying to make here is this. Our gifts are given to us to bless others. I believe that's what the above scripture is saying. When you finally give in and turn everything over to God, and I'm taking everything people. From feeding bulls to weight loss. From church to whether or not to buy a new car. Ask your Father. Wait for His answer and then run with it! Because when you stop thinking about yourself and honor Him, He showers you with blessings. He allows you to have more so that you can bless others.

Yesterday I caved and went back to my church. Actually, the Cowboy forced me to but I'm glad he did. I have missed it so much. I absolute loathe the masks and I'm not sure I will go back until that mandate is lifted (unless he drags me again) but I will continue to watch it on Facebook because I love my church. But our priest talked about the birth of Christ. "On THIS day a child was born." That's another sermon but literally yesterday morning when I was doing my Bible study I was thinking "I wonder if God ever looks down at us and thinks "Look at that! Look what my child is doing and how cool is that??? Look how he or she is using the gifts I've given them and how smart they are to have figured that out!" Our priest literally talked about this! People, I just sat there with my mouth open. (With my glasses fogged up because of the stupid mask. Plus it's hard to focus when I'm so mad.) But that's another miracle! I still heard God through all of my bitterness! When I finally decided to stop pouting and being an ass, (it's Biblical), then I heard God AGAIN. Father Steve literally said "God looks down on us and gets to experience his creation through us." Seriously, I almost fainted. Then he said "The life you lead is the gift you give to Jesus."

I'm sitting here with big ole tears rolling down my face. "THE LIFE YOU LEAD IS THE GIFT YOU GIVE TO JESUS!" YES!!! Yes. So go and live it! Don't let Jesus down! Show Him how much you appreciate all that you have been given! DO NOT BE AFRAID! LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY! Your Father wants to see you showing off the gifts He has given you! He wants to watch you succeed! He wants to bless you so that you can bless others! Be a light! Be a blessing.

Like the many cocoa bombs I have consumed in the past two weeks, melt. Soften up. Give in. Quit being hard core in all things and let Him pour His blessings over you and be that delicious chocolate goodness for others to share. I love you all. I hope you can see Jesus in me. I'm sorry but I'm still not wearing that mask. ;)