I was digging through our filing cabinet last week, trying to find our birth certificates. The Cowboy just insisted that we get our TSA pre-check clearance. The man cannot stand to wait in a line and it doesn't matter what is on the other side. I get it. I mean, I don't really like the lines either but we are not CIA. I feel like those people are special or something and need to get through in a hurry. Well by golly now so are we. We will get to sit on the airplane even longer. Yay!
In my search for proof of life and identity, I discovered some of my old report cards. I didn't remember that my Mom kept anything like this but she sure did. At least until I married and then she gave them to me. I obviously thought they were golden because I had them stored in my fireproof lock box. I decided to go through them today because I figured their would be something funny I could write about and boy howdy have I been enlightened. I may actually need therapy. And for the record, they are not golden. A storage tote or the trash for these babies.
As it turns out, I wasn't the greatest student. What? Like in 8 Seconds, I was "great coming out of the gate, but not much for stamina." I killed it in Kindergarten. I was a stellar student for a solid year. Hahahaha! "Tricia continues to progress nicely in kindergarten. She is a delightful little girl and a pleasure to have in class." Well yeah! "Dale Yeah!" That's what I'm talking about! The thing that struck me the most strange about this particular report card was my mother's signature. "Mrs. Steven K. Baker." Um what? Are we in the south writing a cookbook? What the heck Mom? So in kindergarten, I was 5 and apparently Mom loved my dad enough to refer to herself has Mrs. Steven K. Baker. I'm still cracking up about this. I adore my husband but I don't think in the history of EVER, have I written Mrs. Kevin Charleston, but I may start now. ;)
All of my marks were good. Thank you Mrs. Creighton and Mrs. Rosenthal for loving and believing in me. Turns out you two were pretty smart judges of character because EVENTUALLY, I turned out alright. YAY FOR KINDERGARTEN!
Well first grade's card isn't even in the pile so who knows what happened that year. I am pretty sure I had Mrs. Creighton again and she loved me so I know it was a good year. After that however, I don't know if my decline was immediate or gradual but let's just say by the third grade I had a lot of M's and M basically stands for Mediocre. Folks, I'm a lot of things, and some not great but I'm hoping that never in my whole life would anybody describe me now, as mediocre. But that's just it. That's how much I cared about school. I did what I had to do to get by. I friggin coasted. WHAT A SLUG! I'm humiliated! I did get a "Tricia is a good worker" comment out of my fourth grade teacher. He should see me now! Hahahahaha! You think worker buddy! I'm a machine! Hahahahaha! :) He was also the teacher that paddled me for saying bad words with my friend Breck. Good to know I worked hard at cussing Apparently that hasn't changed at all. Mom, by fourth grade, is now signing "Jenny Baker" by the way. Cookbook is apparently already in print or the "I am woman hear me roar" movement is in effect. Hahaha!
The Cowboy would find it positively hilarious to know, if I'd ever told him and I will NOT, and neither will any of you, that I got "needs improvement" check-marks in "Recognizes and uses symbols of time, money and measurement" and "Is developing map skills." I still cannot add, only subtract according to him, or read a map. Hahahahahaha! This apparently started in grade 2. Why do I need a map? My phone tells me where to go! :) Mom was still loving dad and repping his whole name in grade 2. I'm rolling. (The Cowboy just walked in and informed me that this is how they did it back then. Okay Rhett Butler. Whatever.)
So fast forward to high school. Why did I even bother to go? More B's and C's. Seriously. I would have beaten my children for these grades! Okay beaten is a bit harsh but I knew they could do better and I demanded it. And they did. My poor Mom was probably just thrilled I showed up at all. I certainly didn't try while I was there. Heck, it was the only time I wasn't grounded so I had some catching up with friends to do. Hahahaha! I apparently, didn't try at all.
Do you know what I got in JOURNALISM??? C+. A C plus!!!! Thanks for the plus Ms. whoever you were. I feel much better. (eye roll here) I've been journaling FOREVER and got a C+? Did I even go to class? I did manage to pull an A in college Literature. Seriously, that's the only thing keeping me from drinking right now. But here's the thing. I remember that teacher. I adored him! He'd stand on a chair and yell and scream like a madman. He was absolutely captivating and loved his job. I loved him and his enthusiasm and it was contagious. Those people... I showed up for.
I'm happy to report that I didn't fail any classes. Well, on these report cards anyway. I did fail college algebra once but my teacher was awful. The next year I got an A. My teacher was a rockstar and I listened to her. Imagine that. Teachers are so important aren't they? The teachers I loved with my whole heart, I tried for. I wanted to show them what I could do. The ones that just showed up and did mediocre and got their paychecks and went home, well that's what they got from me. Mediocre. I'm not proud of it, but that was just a fact.
These old school report cards are HILARIOUS. "Enjoys bodily activity." Is that PE or something else? But some of the categories are actually really kind of sweet and we should probably incorporate the old school ways back into the present days. "Shows friendliness to others." Thank God I did that successfully. I know that to be true because I loved my friends and school was the only time I got to see them. Hahahaha! I also enjoyed bodily activity for the record. Way too much in the later years. Hahahaha!
I graduated. Whew. High School AND college! I actually ended up with an Associate's Degree and a Bachelor's Degree and even ended up on the Dean's List a time or two. It turns out when you have to pay your own way, you try harder. It's a lesson we could actually teach our children now, by giving them less.
Parents, do yourselves a favor and do NOT show your children your old report cards if you were "mediocre" like Trish. Don't be like Trish. Try harder. Although, I overcame it to greatness, HAHAHAHAHA!, so there is a good moral to the story. "Yes she was just an "okay" student but look, she wrote books later!" ;) Selling A's to Quincy and Emma would not have been so easy had they seen these babies. They are less than impressive. Funny yes, but just mediocre. I don't like mediocre one bit.
And teachers, show up and get creative. Your jobs are so hard and your pay is not nearly enough for what you do but your jobs are the most important jobs on the planet. You can change lives! AND YOU COACHES TOO! I can't stress enough what a coach can do for or against your child. I have two children that can show you success and failure because of ONE coach. Your students and your players want to dazzle you when they see you dazzle. Be dazzling! And if you want, I'll bedazzle your classroom or locker room. Or at least glitter paint. I'm crafty like that. ;)
Let's help these kids grow to greatness by showing them our greatness. I'll teach Jesus, you teach math. Please do a better job than my teachers. I can only subtract. Have a great school year everyone! ;)
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