I just finished a Bible study called "Road Trip" by Jen Hatmaker. It was a great study and I recommend it to all the ladies out there. I mean, men could learn a lot from it too but it's kind of a chick book. We were discussing a little part of it in the class I teach last week and got on the subject of relationships.
Most everyone in the class is married or has been, but all of us are in different stages of life. The ones with small children and stay at home moms are finding themselves overworked, under appreciated, over burdened etc. Normal mom stuff. Heck, it's normal anybody stuff. I feel the same a lot of the time because the Cowboy is not a compassionate or complimentary person. He works hard. He expects me to work hard. He expects our girls to work hard. But the problem is, he expects me to work hard at what he wants, not what fills my soul and not what I think God has chosen for me. God also says to "honor your husband." So there's the rub. Which comes first? This is why I need monthly massages, to work the giant knots of stress out of my body, which he gladly pays for. I'd love for him to do it but he'd rather me just rub him and pay someone else to rub me. He's rather content that way and I love him for it.
Contentment is a word that can get misconstrued. Jen Hatmaker says "It has been given a human slant, and the definition became distorted. If your definition describes contentment as "happy where you are, having enough, needing nothing else," or anything like that, she says, "I'll go ahead and give you a star. But if you will indulge me, let's push through that standard definition of contentment and risk understanding it through a new lens."
"Jesus gave us a radical notion of fulfillment: "Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied" (Luke 6:21). What is so radical about that? Let's read closer. According to Jesus, contentment is distinguished not by finally having enough, but by being constantly hungry. In fact, what did He call the starving believer? Pathetic? Malnourished? Needy? No, Jesus called him "blessed." Our hunger for Christ has to be a permanent fixture." THIS IS TRUE WITH YOUR SPOUSE TOO PEOPLE! Think about this for a minute. "Blessed are those who hunger now..."
She goes on to ask, "Why might God have planned it this way?" RELATIONSHIP! He wants you to crave Him, to hunger for Him, to thirst for Him and only Him. I also fully believe this is why He uses the example of a bride and groom so much to explain the His relationship with the church. And don't even get me started on that! That's a whole other sermon!!
In this crazy life of mine, I've noticed something. When the Cowboy is gone a lot, which happens often in our marriage due to his occupation, I'm okay. I'm content because I'm so very busy and I don't HAVE to have the attention of a man all the time. I'm able to be alone and be cool with it, but here's the deal, I also get comfortable. Comfortable enough that I learn to just be alone and when he comes back, he's kind of in my way, on my nerves and I have to get used to him being here again. I start to stop craving him. It's not a good thing. When we are together all the time, I literally crave more and more of him. The more I see him, the more I want to. The more we are together, the more in love we become. I adore him. I want more and more! This is the same with God!
This wasn't always the case for me. Before I found this deep relationship with Jesus, I couldn't stand to be alone. In fact, my first husband was gone all the time and I simply found other people to pay attention to me and fill the void. This is obviously a very bad idea. Everything you do, in every situation, is a choice you have to make and contentment is not for the lazy. You really have to work at it.
The more you study about God, the more you begin to learn and the deeper you dig because you start to crave knowing Him. The closer you become to Him, the hunger grows. (This is the exact same with your spouse!) You start to become content in a hungry way and you get busy because you are literally in need of Him and want to please Him. But, like in any close relationship, if you set back and get comfortable, well the fire goes out. Is your spouse happier when you are sitting on the couch at night when they get home or when you have dinner on the table or bring in take out? When you greet them with a kind word or "Hey jerk face?" This isn't rocket science folks but unlike humans, God is always there because He is God. He won't leave you or forsake you, even if you're sitting around on your butt. But wouldn't you rather have the fire? The hunger?
The cool thing about God is, the more you learn, the more you grow, and then, the more He actually demands of you. That may sound horrible and believe me, it's kind of terrifying but He gives you responsibilities that are just yours. He gives you your purpose! Just like having a rancher for a husband with a long list of chores each day. LOL! At that point you can't just sit and revel in the love that He has for you, YOU HAVE A PURPOSE TO FULFILL. You were born with a purpose that is just your own. We are the body of Christ TOGETHER and EVERY, SINGLE, ONE of us has a completely different job to do. Isn't that just the coolest thing ever???
Faith is a verb. You act. You work! You learn. YOU THRIVE! YOU GROW! Relationships take work. Hungering for something, isn't always a bad thing. Hunger drives you to feed your soul. Feed your soul! Find your purpose.
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